As the inquest into Princess Diana’s death continues, there has been a disease outbreak which medical authorities believe is related to the Princess.

Disease specialists theorize that Diana devotees started putting themselves at risk after the Princess was killed in a Paris car accident 10 years ago. The obsessive nature of interest; and the shear volume of information available have resulted in a near epidemic throughout Britain, Europe and US.

The disease is called RAIDS, Royal Auto -Immune Deficiency Syndrome. The malady seems to be a combination of chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Sufferers have little energy and experience dehabilitating muscle pain. Trembling of the head and hands are seen in advanced cases.

Stress is the major cause of RAIDS.  

Conspiracy theories related to Diana’s death have exhausted those trying to make sense of what occurred. Many of the possibilities picture a cabal among Prince Phillip, Her Majesty the Queen and British Intelligence. The motives include: weariness over Diana dissing the royal family; and revulsion at the idea of marriage to Dodi Fayed and the patter of little Muslim feet.

There are additional conspiracy theories involving the likes of the CIA and Mossad; as well  Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise and NASA.

The conspiracy supported by the most evidence is the Princess’s public contempt for the royal family. The comment by Prince Phillip, “She’s more trouble dead than alive” may show killer’s remorse.   

Staying abreast of Princess Diana books and movies has also compromised the immune system of RAIDS sufferers. The excruciating detail of books like “Diana the Kindergarten Years”; along with titillating offerings by “Liz”, Diana’s dog,  such as the bestseller “I Was Petted by Lady Di”, and the blockbuster sequel “I Licked Lady Di” suggest an unhealthy preoccupation.

The 2006 government report on whether or not Diana was murdered runs 837 pages.  A “Princess Diana” book query on Amazon.com comes back with over 8500 items. And there is more about the Princess everyday.

“Just say No” doesn’t work and a cure for the disease has not been found. Britain’s Medical Research Council is experimenting with a treatment similar to the heroin-methadone model. Patients would be required to give up everything Diana and take doses of John Lennon and Elvis.

 Note: Ripped from the headlines and totally made-up.